My name is Aruba Ozek, and as you should recall, I commissioned you to make one of those special dolls of yours. It was of my husband Olcan, and its fabrication required some of his hair, a finger nail, and a drop of his blood. I hope this rings a bell for you as you did not provide me with a proper receipt, or bills of sale (I suppose this and your cash-only policy is to avoid paying taxes).
In any event, despite the doll's extremely poor rendering of Olcan's actual features, its functionality has proven reasonably good. Rapidly jabbing a hatpin into its temple reliably produces an associative "shattering pain" in Olcan's head, while another pin thrust into the stomach area produces something he describes as an "abdominal rupturing" sensation.
I am generally satisfied with these results.
However, yesterday I attempted to improve the effect by replacing the hatpin with a 16 inch carving knife. Holding the doll in one hand, I thrust the knife through its poorly constructed torso and went through the palm of my hand. My husband heard my scream over his own noisy wailing, and he crawled into the kitchen to find me standing there with a voodoo doll of him spiked onto my hand with a carving knife.
Now he blames me for his pain! Thanks a lot!
I know owner's manuals are a thing of the past, but you should provide some documentation and warning of your product's poor construction quality. I'm afraid you've lost an otherwise satisfied customer. -Aruba Ozek.